office memo.

dear coworkers,

despite having worked here for nearly a month, i have no FUCKING clue about how to do anything, or even what my job entails. as far as i'm concerned, i was hired to read blogs, gchat, guzzle coffee and stare at the clock until 4:30 pm. speaking of coffee, whoever walked off with the creamer has a world of pain coming to them, black coffee with 3 splendas just isn't satisfying.

that being said, do not ask me questions like "what does this mean?" and "did you do that?" because theres a 100% chance i don't know the answer. however, if you would like to hear a silly story about me sleeping on the bathroom floor or getting lost on the 6 block trek back to my apartment, i'd be happy to help you. until then, i will plotting a way to build a fort around my cubicle rendering me invisible so that i can both take a nap undermy desk and avoid your nonsense.

thanks,
nouns.