It's time for a trueeeeeeeee confessionnnnnnnn. One that may or may not lose me a few points on the "coolness meter o' life," but here goes nothing.....
I absolutely LOVE The Real World.
Yes, you read that properly, and no, I'm not being ironic. I really, really do - I love it. Not in the, "I'll watch it if it's on" way. More in the, "Make sure I catch each week's new episode and if I miss it stay up until 3am when they replay it" way. It's a sickness....I'm aware.
That being said, for a while my love was starting to wane. Sadly, it all began with the Austin season. Now, being a college student in Austin at the time, one would think the whole thing would have been that much more exciting. Unfortunately, I've never encountered a bigger group of loser ass clowns in my life. And they weren't entertaining loser ass clowns -- they just straight up sucked. I'd love to comment more about them and go into painstakingly specific detail outlining just how much each one sucks, but I keep trying to forget their names and faces (unfortunately my love of The Gauntlet isn't helping...at least Danny hasn't worn one of his fug hats yet). All I really have to say for that season is that I hope that if ANYONE out there is to ever visit Austin, Texas please, God, do NOT waste your time at Dizzy Rooster or Chuggin Monkey. Remember that ignorant douche bag Bachelor, Brad from Austin? He owns those "cleverly named" establishments. That should say enough. Anyway, back to the point -- a bad season in Austin followed by an arguably worse season in Key West (Paula SUCKS) had me swearing off of the show forever. (Denver was watchable I guess....I kept waiting for Alex to admit he was gay).
The formula for the show has always been to bring to the table "a really diverse cast" with "diverse issues." That's all good and well, as it does make for some good television (Steven slapping Irene, the ongoing battle between Coral and Mike (or the Miz if you prefer it.....I do), Ruthie's alcoholism, etc. etc.), but it was losing steam pretty rapidly.
So what did Mary Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray do (no, I didn't even have to look that up)? They decided to put together the least diverse cast in the history of The Real World. I give you, The Real World: Sydney. The season that threw diversity out the window and just put a lot of hot people in a house together (girls outnumbering guys of course). Okay, so Parisa was Muslim and Cohutta may have been retarded, but none of those things really got more than 5 minutes of total air time over the season. Instead, there were hook-ups galore, some of the most ridiculous cat fights I've ever seen (Trisha is bat-crazy), and arguably the best season I've seen since Vegas.
And so, this post is dedicated to you, Mary Ellis and Jonathan (you two HAVE TO be like 75 by now....I mean isn't Timmy 60?). Thank you. Thank you for bringing back the glory that was and always should be The Real World. It is because of the phenomenon that you created (and only because of it) that despite its over suckiness I still "Want my MTV."
** DISCLAIMER: Yes, I realize the title quote by Coral is from the Gauntlet. How dare you challenge me! But, honestly is there a more memorable quote by a "Real Worlder"? No, no there is not. **
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