While all of my co-conspirators sleep one off, I woke up at the hour of 8 AM to drive my happy ass to work where I was greeted with this email:
Well it took 17 hours of labor but at 12:54am this morning [generic baby name] made it out, now they had to go in and get him when they figured he was little too big to come out the old fashion way. Everything went well and [generic mother's name] was put back together without a snag.
I've highlighted the particularly disturbing parts for your enjoyment. And sadly, this email isn't even from the same person who once emailed the whole office to tell us that he'd be missing work because his wife had a urinary tract infection. All kinds of people in my office are knocked up, so I can't wait to get more emails just like this one. I love having round-about conversations about your wife's vagina at 8:30 in the morning.
Anyway, cheers to the happy couple and their new 8 lb 10 oz bouncing baby tax write-off.
Well it took 17 hours of labor but at 12:54am this morning [generic baby name] made it out, now they had to go in and get him when they figured he was little too big to come out the old fashion way. Everything went well and [generic mother's name] was put back together without a snag.
I've highlighted the particularly disturbing parts for your enjoyment. And sadly, this email isn't even from the same person who once emailed the whole office to tell us that he'd be missing work because his wife had a urinary tract infection. All kinds of people in my office are knocked up, so I can't wait to get more emails just like this one. I love having round-about conversations about your wife's vagina at 8:30 in the morning.
Anyway, cheers to the happy couple and their new 8 lb 10 oz bouncing baby tax write-off.
Note: The picture above is an actual patent illustration for an ingenious idea called "The Baby Cage" designed to keep ma and pa from crushing their young.
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