Spears for President

It came to my attention that the State of the Union Address was the night before last. And when I say it came to my attention, I mean it was the only damn thing on the tiny television at the laundromat while I was washing my clothes for the first time since Christmas (I know it was the only thing on because I checked every other channel and almost settled on watching static because frankly, that would have been less annoying). So I put together a few comments.

First of all, who cares what GW has to say anymore... he's on his way out and can't possibly be voted back in. He should have just stood up there and told knock-knock jokes, his approval rating probably would have shot up faster than Kate Moss.

Secondly, I have just thought of a BRILLIANT new plan that will save our country:

Lets all write in Britney Spears for president.

Wait, wait, put down the pitchforks and torches and let me explain. While about 98% of America probably had no idea that the State of the Union was even on, I'd bet you a million beers that at LEAST 98% of America could tell you what Britney's douchey new photografriend's name is.


When I was in 11th grade we had to take a class called rhetoric, and I have NO idea what it was supposed to teach us, mostly because the teacher had some really busted up teeth and I couldn't listen to anything she said. I just pointed and stared at her with my mouth open and a horrified look in my eyes every day that year. Somehow I did manage to learn how to put a syllogisim together (don't ask me what that is, I don't know - her third incisor from the left was just unnatural). So this is the conclusion I have drawn:

People need to pay attention to politics
People DO pay attention to Britney Spears
Therefore we need Britney Spears in politics.

Plus watching her pick a wedgie and her nose simulatneously at her inaguration would be fun.

VOTE BRITNEY.



UPDATE: I have just polled the entire country and 98% of people did in fact know who Adnan was, so I'll be taking those beers now. If anyone calls for me I'll be shitfaced, unless its my mom, then tell her I went to church.