And Your Vertical Blinds are Effing Annoying

I think the only way to describe last night is just to post the actual log of all of my text messages... so here goes.

Disclaimer: This is not for the faint of heart or people who are bothered by severly misspelled words.

July 18, 2008

6:24 PM - Recipient: Lyrical Cabbage

"I am driving down the toll road and just had a vision of you knocking that table over in vegas and no can't stip laughing...Miss you!"

7:18 PM - From: Venus

"Need a nape before going out. Will call you when done. Go to [bar] or whatever without me. "

8:22 - From: A Friend

"Plans?"

9:02 - Recipient: A Friend

"Hey, GP and I are at my place getting ready to go out Venus is taking a nap (wtf...i know) we are going to the [bar] its on [street] but you are welcome to come over here first."

9:04 From: A Friend

"Haha Ok yeah I talked to [another friendd] and heard Venus was going there. I think I might end up going to their plave bc its a lil closer. But looks like ima see yall either way."

Rejection Count: 1

9:06 Recipient: Venus

"Are you awake yet whore?"

10:30 From: Venus

"Whats your status???"

10:30 Recipient: Venus

"About to heasd to the [bar] with Neighbor and co. in tow"

10:31 From: Venus

"Ok fab. Im at Bizarro's and we are about to head over there."

10:32 Recipient: Venus

"Tell Bizarro Shoulders I said hi!"

11:09 Recipient: Venus

"Just ran in to that dude who sucks in line..."

11:11 From: Venus

"We are in line outside...grrrr"

11:11 From: Venus

"Do you have a table?"

11:28 To: GP

"Where are you?"

11:32 From:GP

"Wherever you need me to be"

11:40 From: GP

"I want you I need you. Oh baby oh baby. Can we leave please?"

12:05 (or what I like to refer to as the turning point) Recipient: Venus

"We are gong? we're. Goinbg [bar] come meet."

12:06 From Venus

"Wherw are you going?"

12:06 Recipient: Venus

"That was quick...[bar]"

12:07 From: Venus

"K fab. We will finish our drinks and likely join." * Note, I did not see Venus again that night.

12:09 Recipient: Venus

"Fuck You!"

12:30 From: Venus

"Whyyyyy? How's [bar?]"

12:34 Recipient: Venus

"It sucks how is it where you are?"

12:49 Recipient: Venus

"Need Thing 2's numner help me out..."

***Venus if you are reading this you are a freaking enabler. I need to cut you out of my life***

12:52 From: Venus

"[phone number]"

12:53 Recipient: Venus

"I love you"

12:56 Recipient: Thing 2

"Hey! What's up?"

*** And yes I also cannot belive I said something THAT lame"***

1:00 From: Venus

"Oh hold on T2 is here"

1:01 Recipient: Venus

"Are you effing kidding me?"

1:01 From: A Friend

"Are you still at [bar?]"

1:01 From: Nouns

"Where are you"

1:02 Recipient: A Friend

"No I am sitting in the middle of nowhere"

1:03 Recipient: Nouns

"sitting in the misddle of nowhere"

1:03 From: A Friend

"Are you with GP?"

1:03 Recipient: A Friend

"Yes"

1:09 From: Nouns

"You okay?"

1:27 From: Venus

"we are at [bar]"

1:45 Recipient: Venus

"Apparently I suck abd am going to bed csnt believe the level of despeation including me"

1:48 From: Thing 2

"[bar]."

1:50 Recipient: Thing 2

"Went home... Alone you missed out..."

*** Apparently when I am drunk I am God's gift to the effing human race***

1:50 From: Venus

"Your text makes little to no sense. Otherwise at [bar]"

1:52 Recipient: Venus

"I know T2 jut texted back I'm curently at home in bed edd. This shiit."

1:52 From: Thing 2

"You want to meet up?"

1:53 Recipient: Thing 2

"Do you even know who I am?"

1:55 From: Thing 2

" Are you serious?"

1:56 Recipient: Thing 2

"Are you?"

1:57 From: Thing 2

"[my name]"

1:59 Recipient: Thing 2

"Look at you! I'm ibn bed currently... but what are you doing tomorrow?"

2:14 From: Thing 2

"Meet up with us now."

2:15 Recipient: Thing 2

"Where are you I'm already in bed lame I know"

2:17 From: Thing 2

"[apartment]. At Jerry's Kid and Leasing Director's place. About to walk home. You want to meet up?"

2:19 Recipient: Thing 2

"No Chance...I've been in bed for at lest 30 ins and my bed is comfy thanks for the invite though."

2:20 From: Thing 2

"ouch."

2:25 Recipient: Thing 2

"And your vertical blinds are effing annoying but call or text tomorow we will be at our pool. "





*** Through all of this what I really can't believe is that I managed to type "I'm" every time I said it. Not Im or im or something sort of resembeling the word I was looking for. It is amazing. Ahhh to be young and free. ***