Return of the Mack

I know you've all missed my blogging skillz, so i'm giving you a little treat. Here's a wee update on my life in the last.... month?
i hate my job and i work alot. done and done.
since work is my life, i'll tell you about some of the assclowns i encounter on a daily basis.
ASS CLOWN 1
19 years old. no education (unless you count the 2.9 gpa she graduated with from a 2A high school in bum fucking no where). thinks we are peers. ends every sentence with "i party so hard it's ridiculous, you need to come out withe me so you can see how CrAzY i am".
this bitch doesnt know who i am. clearly. i had to EXPLAIN a what a vodka soda is and shes never once had a beer. not to mention she has never shacked in 250 dollar a night hilton half a mile from her apartment with a bar owner on a tuesday. clearly we are not on the same level. ass clown 1 owned.
ASS CLOWN 2
skanky. likes to steal ed hardy from me. lets her love handles hang over her true relgions. wears lucite heels to the mall.
dumb bitch stole shit from me at work 3 times in one week. unfortunately, they dont let me tackle these retards so i depend on some other dude to do that. naturally, he's not as good as his job as i am at well... everything. so he kept letting her slip. they finally caught her strange ass stealing a 64 dollar tye dye juicy hoodie and some diamond studded hosiery. bitch please.
ASS CLOWN 3
balding. middle aged. too cheery to be both collecting social security and working the night shift at a 7-11 in one of the sketchiest parts of dallas.
after working for only an hour (i know i can't talk about it), i make a b-line to a convenience store to score booze of sorts. a 12 pack of coors light (dont judge) is a whopping 18 bucks. i make a b-line back to my car. on the way out, this dude tells me i'm not allowed in his store if i don't smile. i flash him a smart ass grin and say something along the lines of, "i'd smile if you didn't have to sell my first born for a case of coors" and sashay out the door to a bar with my partners in crime where i order a healthy meal of a side salad and 5 beers.