To Whom it May Concern:
Today as I was cleaning out some boxes, I stumbled upon what appeared to be blank CDs. I felt like kickin it old school and burning myself a little mix to jam to in my car so I pop a CD-R into my laptop and make a little playlist. Just as I am about to burn my masterpiece, I discover the disc is not blank (GHASP!).
I decide to attempt to play the contents of this CD in hopes for a little walk down memory lane... possibly a memory lane lined with such poppy deliciousness as "E-Mail My Heart" by the one and only B-Spears, maybe even a little Swisher House from my 10th grade delusions of being "Gangster." False.
Instead my computer begins making a very loud noise and the disc drive begins spinning at warp speeds. In fear of destroying one of my most prized possessions I immediately lunge to open the disc drive and just as I am about to push the button I hear your client (Avril)'s nasty voice screetching out what you all would call a song. At that very instant, my computer overheats, shuts down, loses all my work, and the disc ejects.
Lucky for you I'm unemployed, so my work consists of an E-Mail to distant relatives asking for money. Therefore I am only sueing for emotional damage. Enclosed is a copy of the Disc in question. I will paiently be awaiting your check for $10,000.
Sending you warm wishes and decent taste,
Nouns.
PS: Even my piece of shit computer is capable of scouting out shitty music like Avril, maybe I can have a job?
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