Nouns and Boat Party do Austin.

First things first... some stage directions to set the scene. The crew minus a few (most importantly lyrical cabbage) have moved to the big D. Boat party and i took a trip back for a little walk down debauchery lane.

Picture it: Labor Day 2008, college football opening weekend.
Act one, Scene one: Upon our arrival in austin, we meet up with Lyrical cabbage at her new "adult" apartment and immediately head out for Mexican Martinis. After a round of drinks and a huge bowl of queso, we get in a cab (which i clumisly cut my foot on) and head straight for "our bar."
Act one, Scene two: we are immediately greeted with a free round of vodka sodas the familiar sound of the DJ creepily saying "JEENNNYY" (nope not my real name... he just thinks it is) as i prance up the bar. the next few hours are a blur "omg how are yous" and "UGHHH theres that girl i hate". we head to the big beer bar to end the night and i could not be more pleased. some nice man places a glass of the colorado koolaid in my hands and i'm set. i'm catching up with old friends when i turn and see him. the ex. i have yet to name this creature, soo i guess that will be his name. hes there with his new girlfriend (they met when she was sleeping with his roommate, classy i know). luckily its close to closing i pound a couple of beers and me, boat party, lc, next door neighbor, and his military friend pour ourselves in cab.
Act one, Scene three: now this where the night gets REALLY blurry. i dont know how it happened, but lc gets offended by something ndn does... at first i think shes crazy. later i found out he said "bitch money and shit to me" and threw money in her face (no wonder she was pissed). LC is so angry she leaves her new phone in the cab. these are my people.

Act two, Scene one: we spend the next day tailgating and head to a bar (since they don't sell the hooch at the stadium) to watch to watch UT beat the shit out of some no talent assclowns.
Act two, Scene two: we head down town where we meet up with watch out friends, bdv and crew who after one round of drinks decide to go to the campus bar instead. i should have just lit money on fire, it would have been a better investment.
Act two, Scene three: boat party and i essentially babysit a table while the boys booze like crazy. cut to the end of the night. its 1:55 and WOF has 5 shots lined up and 2 beers in his hand. BDV is asleep at the table (after he fell over backwards in his chair) and boat party and i are trying fruitlessly to round the troops. we finally get them in the car and head home. at the destination WOF decides getting out of the car is an AWFUL idea.
Act two, Scene four: he comes with us to taco cabana. i am a shit talker. i love to heckle and make outlandish claims of my awesomeness. so is WOF.we begin arguing about who can drink more and as hes listing all the things he can beat me at he yells "I WILL EAT YOU OUT". silence followed by GUTTERAL laughter. inside taco cabana there is a newly wed couple. like just wed 20 minutes ago at the local community center. maybe their backyard. WOF proposes a polygamous relationship (which is why i suppose we are supposed to watch out??) we inhale some tacos and head back to LC's to pass out on the floor. as soon as i park the car WOF gets out and voms ALL over a tree. after trying to deny his trail of booze clues, we get him up stairs and we immediately pass out.

Act three, Scene one: breakfast at the fattest restaurant in the world we are the only table who doesnt have to buy two tickets when flying. we recap the evening, show WOF the evidence he left outside LC's apartment and embark on another day boozing.
Act three, Scene two: we head to an outdoor music festival put on by LC's man friend. after downing 16oz bud lights for about an hour, Lyrical Cabbage, Boat Party, our new friends Broadway and the photographer begin to put on a show singing and dancing included. best concert ever (not sure if i feel that way due to booze, music, or the company). We settled into bed with a bottle of wine and a 90210 marathon (not to mention the harsh realization that we are old).

CURTAIN.