Asshat of the Week

And the asshat of the week is..... dudes who are oblivious. There is a HUGE difference between a girl being nice to you and a girl being into you. One way to tell a girl is not in to you is if you bring her home with you and when in the living room she chooses the chair. This does not mean you should try to sit in the chair with her, it means you should sit your strange ass on the couch and admit defeat. It's alot like when I say "I don't like dancing" it really means "I don't like dancing with you". Please do us all a favor and read these signs. I'm a red blooded woman, when I want to make out with you, YOU'LL KNOW (mainly because I'll club you, drag you back to my lair, and have my way with you). While we're on the topic of mixed signals, when I say "I don't like assholes" I'm serious, I don't like them. I FUCKING LOVE THEM. That being said, stop kissing my ass, it's awkward.

Maybe I need to be more direct and hand out my business card. I can think of at least 20 people who need that. For starters:
-the bartender who thinks a vodka soda is the same thing as a vodka sprite
-the cab driver who doesn't know the streets in the city he works in
-my roommate who has a job and wakes me up before noon
-waiters who make jokes about putting the calories on the side (this douche can usually be found at your neighborhood Chili's)