Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Asshat of the Week

Debbie Downer
Every one has that one friend who is always shitting all over everything in their life, I happen to have 2 (because God has a sense of humor). This is for the douche nozzle who is always treating you like they treat their 4 year old, telling you that drinking a 5th of vodka on a wednesday is "inappropriate" for a college graduate, or reminding you how many calories are in a beer when you're halfway through your second pitcher of Coors. The best way to combat the "Debbie" in your life?
1. Stare blankly when they speak, eventually they will catch on that you don't give a shit.
2. Finish that pitcher of Coors, and order a third
3. Remember Debbie sucks at life and has no fun, and you suck at life and have a little fun, and a large drinking problem (simple math says you win)
4. NO ONE likes Debbie, and at least people pretend to like you because when you drink enough you start buying other people EVERYTHING and making out with anyone in a 10 foot radius.

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