Today's Show is Sponsored By, The Number 7

So, today is the first of the month. In my world that means I have to do a lot of extra reporting that is really important and that I will probably mess up. Assuming that my day is getting a grade out of 100%, this automatically drops it to about a (70). I set my alarm for 7am because my jeans are getting curiously tight and I wanted to go to the gym.

I hit the snooze button for an hour and 20 minutes. (64)

I shower and eat some oatmeal and head to work. (67)

When I get there, one of my co-workers is having an annoyingly loud phone conversation and keeps saying things like "I don't think she will be surprised" and "I bought it, I just hope she likes it" and "No, I will probably do it the second day."(52) I can only deduce that he is proposing to his girlfriend of 2 years. Then he says something truly funny:

"I mean, its like, nothing is really going to change after two years." (73 - because I like to laugh)

Oh really? We should have a chat. Everyone else in my office gradually catches on to what he is talking about when he says "She doesn't like the solitaire kind so I got the kind that has two little diamonds on each side of the big one." Thank God I don't work at a detective agency (actually that would be freaking AMAZING. I look good in plaid and I'd get to say things like "By George" in a British accent.). The girls I work with get all giddy. Fantastic. (48)

I leave to get coffee from the kitchen (things are looking up - 52) . The coffee tastes like someone made it with their feet (37) .

I start to hear something annoying and I know I've heard this noise before, but I just can't place it (32) . I go to get more foot coffee and I see it--a child (15) . My boss has brought his youngest in to work. Normally I would be kind of annoyed, but this kid is a riot (36) . He just keeps yelling things like "No Dad... CUBA! (44) " and "SPIDERMAN COULD TOO BEAT BATMAN." (51)

Venus asks me how old the kid is and I say, I don't know 5, 6 maybe (he later tried to lie to me and tell me he was 5 when he was in fact 4. Lesson learned: Children are not to be trusted). She thinks this is hilarious and suggests that my answer should have been "kid aged". Sorry, I am really bad with kids. I forget everything about them except that they are sticky, think it is funny to touch my hair and jewelry, and vomit way more than necessary. A shudder just ran down my spine thinking about it. (46)

I somehow manage to finish all of my reporting by 1:00 (68) with no major problems (73) and have a few minutes to read blogs (82 - blogs make me REALLY happy). I am about to take an hour for lunch (94) where I will watch some Gilmore Girls (98) but the thought of how bored I am going to be when I get back is floating around inside my head (92) .